wordy.

okay, so i thought i was going to be here for long, in my chair, writing a really long detailed post on how my afternoon went.
well, its not because i did not have a great afternoon,
i've kinda lost the mood to sit and write,
all i feel like doing is to crawl in my bed,
and not leave till dinner time.
and to come to think of it, i was so pumped up earlier about going to the gym, to the run off the muffin, and the smartie cookie.

as i struggle to write this, i know this is something i've got to keep a record of,
the feelings that i felt as i returned from lunch with jmah.

it was a sudden realisation that i had a lot of support,
so what if yesterday's barbeque didn't sit to well with me,
so what if I felt no personal connection with those who were there,

but I know there are lots out there who actually care about me.
okay, so i'm not ranting, and i'm not like 'oh, i hate the whole world', but yesterday night felt kind of lonely.

i think i'm better with more intimate/personal settings,
unless i'm in the whole hyped up, crazy, chatty mood, and then everything seems to fall into place.
hohumm.

but yes, back to lunch,
it felt like it was going nowhere initially (i have to admit, my thoughts drifted away for a while back there)
but even though we did not have much in common,
i believe it was a time of getting to know a person,
and it was a special feeling.
no eee, not that kind of attraction,
but just a good feeling.
a feeling of 'i want to be friends with you for life, and watch you grow, and build your own family kind of feeling)

so it was good : )
it went somewhere the lunch.
and i got to know jmah a little better,
hopefully that will help me in my quest of praying for an individual better on a personal level.
andandand

the other day, it 'dawned' upon me.
the frustrations i've had with the opposite sex,
okay, so nothing may have materialised from my time together with these potentials,

but I think its God's way of preparing me for the one.
hahaha.
no really.

I think i understand the male species a little better now.
and what I want, and what to look for.

God you are indeed funny,
and indeed you work in mysterious ways.