say you miss me.

caught up in this whirlpool of emotions.

sucking me in.

Gasping for air.

Not a word slips out.

A facade.

A 'I'm all good', and a 'how are you?'

The days of the old are but the past.

A future of fake smiles and a minute's worth conversation?

Stretching it as we must.

To relive the last 6 months.

But,
it is the past.

....................................................................................................................................

What is the likelihood of me understanding every word that I've written above in the next year(s) or so?

I do hope all will be forgotten.

What is with me writing in riddles?

............................................................................................................................

so the dood dropped by for a suprise visit.
'come out' he says.

.................................................................................................................................

Dad,
not too long ago,
I went ' Is this a sick, sick joke you're playing on me?'

.................................................................................................................................

God,
I don't know how to deal with this.

The valleys, the peaks that I go through,
It is taking a toll on me.

................................................................................................................................

I have been looking for someone to speak to,
Finally, I have shared a little of me.

..................................................................................................................................

God, I thank God for this friendship.
But God, please, don't let my heart lead my head on.

..................................................................................................................................

And honestly, I feel that all that I've written above is complete and utter nonsense.
I suddenly believe in sincerity, the talks that come from the heart.

................................................................................................................................

In a day or two, or if the stars aren't aligned to my path,
this feelings of doubt,
feelings of obligations,
will arise.

...............................................................................................................................

And once again, I will question this friendship.

God, I need You.

................................................................................................................................

God, when I felt as if there was no longer hope,
No longer reason,

God, you rebuked my thoughts.

Christmas is hope.

shmwork.

everyday at 'that' place is a test of my patience.

for the fear of being discovered by nosy blog-hoppers/google blog searchers, I shan't mention names.

a 'my,myselfandi' practicioner?

It scares me to think that 10 years down the road, I'll be desensitized to such horrible manners.

Even worse, to be one of those I am now ranting on about.

Is it just me, who's being over-sensitive?
For once, I do not lack confidence in my answer.

But I do admit, I have got to learn how to adapt.

Do my own thing and not be bothered about what the rest of my 'uncivilised' colleagues do.

Forgive me, if I am being to harsh.

URGH. I guess on the bright side, although I'm of no valuable asset (liability/burden more likely), I am being exposed to what the real world is really like.
A world where no one cares except for themselves/their superiors/their peers.

Do they care two hoots about interns/those down the line like me?
hahahahaha. : /

I just realised, in my cover letter, I wrote the ever promising line of 'I am seeking an opportunity to experience first-hand, the workings of established corporations...'

I was asking for it didn't I?

Reminder to self:
1)Be genuinely nice/kind/whatever other good adjectives you can think of to interns.
2)Do not agree to take in interns knowing there will be no work for them.

Questions.

My heart never seems to fail to skip a beat each time we meet.

Our eyes lock, and I look away.

Sometimes I wonder, is it just me, or do we both feel the same way.

Somehow, I know that 'us' will never work out.

To remain friends forever?

If I'm not asking for too much, God, I pray that he will find that 'someone' soon.

Then, closure I will have.

The friends were down for the weekend.
An eventful weekend it was.

From cake to chocolate/strawberry sundaes, to my first full man. u match.
As pathethic as this may sound, I don't like the distance between us.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Not a myth I hope.

Sometimes, absence does make the heart forget.

anew.

The irony of it all.

The third blog I've ever started and hopefully, this will be the last. Enough of this running around, wanting to start afresh every 3 months.
so hullo livejournal.

I needed space. Space to rant. Space which some kindred soul might stumble upon.

hope to share every thought, every feeling that I'm about to feel as I go through life's journeys. This shall be my latest avenue to release pent up emotions, to polish my non-existent writing abilities. A place where I shall find solace.

Like my letter to my Daddy God.

Before I begin rambling like a complete idiot, I would like to apologise if I am to offend anyone (that's if I ever do garner readership at any point in time) with my views on news.

hahahaha. Even before I start on my first real post, the 'lame-ness' is beginning to show.
The other part of me whom I never really let out in my other blogs.
so here's a toast to 'feefiifofum'!

This was written close to an hour ago, and I've already deflected back to blogger.
Livejournal was too much of a hassle for me.
For someone who already has 2 other blogs running on blogger.

I would love to end the night with a long post.
However, Pavillion beckons tomorrow morn.

Lightsout.